RAVER: Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign, Vol. 1
More recent generations have been labeled victims of mass commercialization, but what folks fail to remember is that marketing to the young and impressionable began decades before Gen X. In fact, children and teenagers in the 1960s had unprecedented buying power, and more options than ever for unloading their weekly allowances.
In addition to selling artists, teen mags were rife with ads hawking everything from musical instruments to some of the dumbest, most useless “toys” ever created. (See “Finkies” below.) Sure, ads were necessary to keep the lights on at the magazines’ offices, but I’d wager that lots of eager readers were quick to snap up a good amount of these offerings.
When I was a kid, BMG offered a CD Club for $.01. In fact, many of the discs still on my shelf came in the mail every month. The practice began with programs like this one, in which subscribers could get seven whole records for a whopping $3.95. I’m sure Teen Screen readers couldn’t wait to send in their pennies after this ad appeared in its February, 1966, issue.
Of course, bands were money-making machines. 16 offered a plethora of “autographed” pin-ups in its December, 1964, issue, while in April, 1966, Tiger Beat offered Rolling Stones home movies and slides for a whole $4.95, and $2.00 Raider hats. My kingdom for a Raider hat!
(On a side note, I’ve never encountered any of these items in my artifact digging. If you or anyone you know ordered products from a teen mag, let us know in the comments!)
Some artists also appeared in ads themselves, like the below Hagstrom Guitar ad featuring Frank Zappa in the October, 1966, issue of Hit Parader. (Which is ironic, since Hit Parader, perhaps more than any other magazine, often spotlighted folk rock bands like the Lovin’ Spoonful and the Byrds.)
In the same issue, Zappa’s Mothers of Invention advertised a new album, as well as a residency at the Cafe Au Go Go in Greenwich Village. Notice the politically-charged subtext and even the subtle “666” in the upper right corner. Though unsurprising because, after all, it’s Zappa, the contents of the ad are still pretty shocking for the era, especially compared to many of its companions in this article.
Along with ads featuring musicians were those selling the idea that readers could become musicians themselves. Both of these ads appeared in Song Hits in August, 1967; the one on the right is for a send-away course to teach yourself instruments including piano, accordion, guitar, even ukulele. The one on the left looks like a typical promo for Domino guitars, but, most interestingly, some of the teenagers in the photo are girls. Very few ads included the ladies in male-dominated activities; the majority of female-oriented advertising was about…
…beauty and popularity. Even more, not included here, sold book about how to get boys interested, tips for improving posture and grace, and clothing to avoid based on body type. These two, from 16, December, 1964, and Teen World, August, 1968, respectively, touched on all of these topics, including promoting fake hair pieces (or “falls”) as a way to gussy up.
Probably most shocking to us today is this colorful ad from Hit Parader‘s October, 1966, issue. Wate-On implored, “Don’t let them call you skinny!” A pill that promised to “put on pounds” might have been a godsend to knobby-kneed, pipe-cleaner-armed preteens, but with today’s constant bombardment of weight-loss products and programs, this might seem a little unbelievable. What a world.
As the host of Candid Camera, Art Linkletter was the perfect choice for Kodak spokesman. Pair this with teen mag “Photo Clubs” (like Flip‘s, for example), and kids were clambering for their own cameras, which, conveniently, had become more affordable, too. Five bucks for a camera and film (plus free processing every fourth roll) was a steal to Teen Screen readers in February, 1966. Meanwhile, in the August 1967 issue of Song Hits, less than $2 bought five groovy buttons with sayings like, “Re-Elect Bob Dylan President” (Re-elect?), “Make Up, Make Out,” “Big Mother Is Watching,” and “War Is For Grownups.” Someone get me a time machine so I can order all three sets for $7.75!
The two winners for “weirdest products sold to unsuspecting children” and “most likely to cause nightmares” are these “Finkies,” sold in Tiger Beat‘s April, 1966, issue and the horrifying “amazing” wide-eyed kitten posters in Teen World, August, 1968. Presumably, the Finkies were meant to be great gifts for friends and significant others, with sayings like “I’m Nobody Without You” and “I Wuv You.” If someone can explain “Page Boy” and “Wooly Wink” to me, I’d be eternally grateful.
Finally, the below ad from October, 1966’s Hit Parader guarantees that a “writing talent test” can help make anyone a “professional writer.”
Oh, did I fail to mention that all of us at REBEAT are graduates of the Palmer Writing School? Hmm… I guess some of these ads actually did deliver!
