FANTASIA OBSCURA: Niven’s Nautical Satire That Sank Without Trace
There are some fantasy, science fiction, and horror films that not every fan has caught. Not every film ever made has been seen by the audience that lives for such fare. Some of these deserve another look, because sometimes not every film should remain obscure.
Sometimes, though, even with the numbers supposedly in your favor, it just won’t add up…
The Extraordinary Seaman (1969)
Distributed by: MGM
Directed by: John Frankenheimer
Okay, you’re a studio executive, and you’ve got a hot director walking in with his production partner for a meeting. This guy had just given you a great picture, as well as doing well remembered work along the lines of, say, oh, The Manchurian Candidate, and he’s got a great idea for a film, a comedy. And, he can get both established talent and some up-and-coming actors with great potential attached to the project to boot.
Unless you got ominous lightning coming out of Heaven or terrified time travelers materializing in your suite, how could you say no to this…?
After a credits sequence made out of old WWII newsreels interspaced with an occasional cartoon, we open on August 1, 1945, as the USS Edgemont conducts a lifeboat drill in the Philippines. Four members in their own launch get lost in a dense fog before their craft is capsized by a party boat that callously leaves the scene, casting the survivors overboard… into three feet of water that they stand up in and walk ashore from.
We’re quickly introduced to Lt. (J.G.) Morton Krim (Alan Alda), Chief Gunners Mate Orville Toole (Jack Carter), Cook Third Class W. J. Orglethorpe (Mickey Rooney), and Seaman First Class Lightfoot Star (Manu Tupou). These four castaways soon make their way inland ultimately ending up where the HMS Curmudgeon has been left ashore in the mud by the side of the river.
There they discover her skipper, Commander John Finchhaven, RN (David Niven), impeccably attired in naval whites and thankful that the Americans have come to release his vessel and get her back in the war. Despite finding out that his relief crew is hardly ideal, and barely meets his needs, Finchhaven’s still willing to make the best of it to get his ship back into action.
To that end, the Americans make a run to a local merchant for supplies, run by Jennifer Winslow (Faye Dunaway). In return for provisions, they agree to take her aboard on their way to Australia to regroup.
Unbeknownst to his crew, however, Finchhaven has a different agenda: The commander is actually a spirit, having shed his mortal remains just before an engagement in WWI, cursed to stay aboard the Curmudgeon until he actually carries on the family legacy of going to sea and doing great things in battle. Finchhaven doesn’t bother to disclose any of this until Krim figures it out (eventually), through clues such as the every-refilling bourbon bottle he constantly holds, and his keen interest in seeking out the IJN Cruiser Shizuko coming into range.
A ship to engage with that outclasses the de-gunned Curmudgeon, it needs be pointed out. That, and the fact that Finchhaven is operating under something of an unrealized time crunch, needing to do this before the 14th…
One thing Frankenheimer could say in his defense was that, he, too had a bit of a time crunch when he was working on his project. Wanting to do a light comedy after the demands of Grand Prix, something with a compact cast on a small shoot, he started running into troubles when he couldn’t get his production started in the actual Philippines, having to settle for an out of the way spot in Mexico. There, the rains forced delays on the shooting schedule, and the cast and crew spent most of their time on location at dinner parties where Niven would hold court with entertaining anecdotes.
The biggest problem, however, was with the Mexican partners the production had. Their schedule, already blown out of the water by the rains, was cut further when the production partners asked for more funds beyond their already overtaxed budget, and the crew had to wrap with barely enough footage in the can for a short subject. Out of necessity, Frankenheimer had to extend the run time with intercutting in old newsreels from the war, trying to force the funny in comparing the action on screen with the promotion of the conflict.
Out of that sad effort, the words “force” and “conflict” best come to distill what we got. For a movie with a shortened production schedule, it feels overwritten, with only enough lines and attention for three characters, Alda’s, Dunaway’s, and Nivens’. The rest of the cast has very little to do beyond a tick here and there and feels badly wasted, especially Rooney. And as for the main three, what little they have ends up giving them less than nothing to do, say, or work with.
Frankenheimer’s efforts to try and tie the main film to the world beyond the on-screen action through propaganda footage feels desperate, largely because it actually was. The director himself would admit that this was his worst effort, and would years later state that he alone should take the blame for the bad product. At best, you have to give him some credit for making do as best he could, and taking responsibility for how it turned out.
And boy, did it turn out bad. Finished in 1967, the film would be shelved by MGM for two years after disastrous test screenings; the only recorded notice at the time of the film’s release came in a staff-written review in Variety that got buried in the New Year’s Eve of 1968 issue. And according to reference in passing in an article about unreleased films in The New York Times from 1973, the film never got a wide release and went straight to television in 1972.
(Which is why this one doesn’t have a proper trailer to share, as we would normally offer; sorry.)
At best, it’s an under-examined fact in the backstory of everyone involved, a hidden mile marker when tracing their careers. Frankenheimer would go on to make better films, Alda and Dunaway would go on to be in better films, and Niven-
…well, that’s a mixed bag. We can discuss some of that later on, after we give Frankenheimer a chance to make amends, or at least not do this again…
NEXT TIME: The only time I ever had the bite put on me at the circus was with the prices for the souvenirs, so compared to the folks in this film, I got off lucky…
