Putting the ‘X’ in Xmas: 8 Risqué Christmas Songs from the ’50s, ’60s, and Early ’70s
It seems that right about the time R&B and rock ‘n’ roll started to gain a foothold in this country in the 1950s that musical influence also started to carry over into just about the most mainstream, low-key, and non-controversial music of all: Christmas music. After all, Christmas music is probably the one type of music that has changed very little generation after generation, and about all most artists bring to the table is how their voice sounds different from the last person to record the same Christmas song. Take a look at a song like “Jingle Bells,” written around 1857: everyone from Frank Sinatra, the Beatles, the Carpenters, Booker T and the MGs, the Partridge Family, Pearl Jam, and literally of dozens of other rock and pop artists have recorded this Christmas classic. Basically though, in each version, it’s the same song. That gets old after a while of course, so once in a while someone would come up with a new idea for a more topical Christmas song, and thus songs such as “Jingle Bell Rock”(1957) or “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”(1958) appeared on the airwaves. Despite their ground-breaking nature at the time, nearly six decades later these songs are just about as tame and mainstream now as “We Three Kings” or “Oh Christmas Tree.”
But not all Christmas music that came about during the modern era was acceptable in the mainstream, and perhaps not surprisingly, some that came out were not exactly family fare. The very first piece I wrote for REBEAT was something called 10 Often-Censored Songs from the Early 1950s, and if you read that article, you know that not everything that came out in the 1950s was quite as innocuous as it’s been presented since. With that in mind, I decided to look back at some songs that came out in the 1950s, ’60s, and early ’70s that are largely on the risqué side and could truly be said to put the “X” in Christmas. None are really vulgar, and most get their spark from innuendo-laden double entendres. Nevertheless, there are still a few on this list you might not want to try to explain to the kids.
1) “Santa Claus got Stuck in My Chimney,” Ella Fitzgerald (1950)
Like a lot of songs here, what this song means hinges on innuendo, in this case what she means by a “chimney” or what she means by “he came.” Don’t let the easy tone and graceful harmonies fool you: some of those risqué songs I wrote about last time sound fit for the church social unless you pay attention to the words. Fitzgerald sings that Santa got stuck in “my” (not “our” or “the”) chimney “when he came last year,”
There he was in middle of the chimney
Roly-poly, fat, and round
There he was in middle of the chimney
Not quite up and not quite downSanta, please, come back to my chimney
Back to my chimney, back
Santa, please, come back to my chimney
Fitzgerald apparently first did this song in 1950, then again in 1960, but later in her career she had reservations about the content and had her attorneys bar the song’s re-release until after her death. As much as anything I think that attests to the real meaning of the lyrics.
2) “Santa Baby,” Eartha Kitt (1953)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFMyF9fDKzE
I’m willing to admit that this is somewhat tame by today’s standards, and as a result it has basically become a conventional Christmas song now. But when it came out, it was hot stuff. Kitt sings it seductively:
Santa baby, just slip a Sable under the tree for me;
Been an awful good girl, Santa babyThink of all the fun I’ve missed;
Think of all the fellas that I haven’t kissed;
Next year I could be just as good… if you check off my Christmas listSanta baby, I want a yacht and really that’s not a lot;
Been an angel all year; Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight
There’s an undercurrent of sexuality here that leaves no doubt that “Santa” is more like a sugar daddy than a traditional jolly old St. Nicholas.
3) “Trim your Tree,” Jimmy Butler (1954)
In terms of both musical and lyrical content this song sounds a lot like those off-color jump blues tunes Wynonie Harris so often recorded. Like the songs Harris did, almost every word here is dripping with innuendo, and first and foremost is the word “trim,” which has long been a word associated with the female anatomy. With that in mind, his “hatchet,” “balls,” “snow,” and just about every other thing he sings about becomes extremely sexual.
I’m gonna bring my hatchetMy beautiful Christmas ballsI’ll sprinkle my snow up on your treeAnd hang mistletoe on your wallBaby, I’ll make you cheeryBaby, you’ll call me dearieBaby, I want to trim youI heard you had another, who says he can trim your treeBut there ain’t nobody in this whole round world who can trim your tree like me!
4) “Santa Claus is Back in Town,” Elvis Presley (1957)
This song, which was the B-side of the single “Blue Christmas,” is another one that is pretty tame today based on the sexuality quotient, but it must have been a hell of a song when released. Driven by a simple beat, honky-tonk piano, a snare drum and high hat, it sounds like the backing music for a ’50s burlesque show at a “gentleman’s club.” It bumps, grinds, and slides across the airwaves:
Got no sleigh with reindeer, no sack on my back
You’re gonna see me comin’ in a big black CadillacHang up your pretty stockings, turn off the light
Santa Claus is comin’ down your chimney tonight
Just as with Fitzgerald’s song, depending on how you interpret a couple of words this can be pretty racy. This Santa doesn’t wear red trimmed with fur — he sounds like he’s in black leather with studs. This is Elvis at his pelvis-shaking best.
5) “I Know What You Want for Christmas,” Kay Martin and Her Body Guards (1962)
Kay Martin and her Body Guards were a nightclub act who had their heyday in the late ’50s and early ’60s, and were regulars on the Vegas casino circuit. The snare drum, cheesy organ, and Martin’s sultry voice fit right into that groove here as she coos:
I know just what you want for Christmas
But I don’t know how to wrap it, Dear
It’s something that you always wanted
You asked me for it all last yearI need one hand to wrap with
Another hand to clutch it
It wriggles and it squirms
It even tickles when I touch itUnwrapping it is so much fun
It won’t be a surprise
It should be a delight
It’s the same one you played with
Last Saturday nightYou’re really gonna get it Christmas
Because I got the Cadillac
I don’t know how I’m gonna wrap it
May give it to you in a sack
I bathed it and powdered it
And sprayed it with perfume
There’s lots more of that, too. And while at the end it’s not what you think, it’s “adult” party music at its ’60s cocktail lounge finest.
6) “Backdoor Santa,” Clarence Carter (1968)
This is such a funky, snarling, groove of a song that were it not a Christmas song (in a sense), who knows what it might have done on the charts. Even the “back door” this sleazy Santa slips into is open to interpretation.
They call me Back Door Santa
I make my runs about the break of day
They call me Back Door Santa
I make my runs about the break of day
I make all the little girls happy
While the boys are out to playI keep some change in my pocket, in case the children are home
I give ’em a few pennies so that we can be alone
I leave the back door open so if anybody smells a mouse
And wouldn’t old Santa be in trouble if there ain’t no chimney in the house
And in case there’s any doubt about this Santa’s motives or virility, Carter grunts “I ain’t like the old Saint Nick — He don’t come but once a year.” Wow.
7) “I’ll Be Your Santa, Baby,” Rufus Thomas (1973)
This funky tune has a lascivious-sounding Rufus Thomas growling “Here comes Santa Claus,” the first of many an innuendo-laden verse. Like many of the other selections here, his “slide down your chimney” and bringing lots of joy doesn’t bring to mind a jolly old fat man with a sack full of toys. In fact, Thomas makes it clear that “What I got for you, mama, it ain’t just a toy” means something you don’t buy in a store. “When the New Year rolls around,” he says, “you’ll still be askin’ for more!”
8) “Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin’,” Albert King (1974)
In this great bluesy Stax production, Santa is pretty blunt — he just wants some lovin’. He’s tired from putting together the toys on Christmas Eve, but he’s got his mind on another prize tonight. “Now I been trying to fix this old bicycle/Can’t seem to find my pliers/Halfway watchin’ Mama for that sleep in her eyes ’cause/Santa Claus wants some lovin’…” This Santa is working against the clock.
I don’t want no turkey
Don’t care about no cake
I want you to come here Mama ‘fore the children wake ’causeSanta Claus wants some lovin’
Santa Claus wants some lovin’Now Christmas is for the children
And I want them to be real pleased
But right now Mama it’s Christmas Eve
Come make your papa happy pleaseSanta Claus wants some lovin’
Santa Claus wants some lovin’
Even with the innuendo, these are generally pretty good songs that let your mind do most of the “dirty work.” Sadly, it seems that now that’s another old tradition gone by the wayside. Recent years have produced songs such as “It’s Christmas, Let’s Have Sex,” “Santa Claus Has Got the AIDS this Year,” “I’ve Got a Boner for Christmas,” “Frosty the Pervert,” and many others that are far, far worse. While the songs on my list indicate that maybe the old days weren’t always quite as innocent as we’d like to remember them, there’s something to be said for leaving a little bit to the imagination.
