Every ‘Monkees’ Episode: “Monkees Get Out More Dirt” (S1E29)
Last summer, we celebrated the 50th anniversary of the Monkees as a band by counting down our top 50 Monkees songs. Now, we’re celebrating The Monkees TV show by profiling each and every episode — exactly 50 years after it first premiered.
Tonight’s episode: “Monkees Get Out More Dirt” (Season 1, Episode 29)
Air date: April 3, 1967
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqWB4i_cHvg
In the galaxian ether of the Monkees fandom, “Monkees Get Out More Dirt” is commonly found in most top 10 lists — and I certainly have it in mine. Directed by Gerald Shepard and scripted by the show’s veteran writers Gerald Gardner and Dee Caruso, this fun but different episode is one where the boys are not all-for-one/one-for-all but are vigorously competing against each other for April Conquest, played by the beautiful and legendary Julie Newmar.
The episode starts off with the boys taking their dirty clothes to a laundromat. Little do they know Cupid is about to strike them silly. They each go to the manager (Newmar) for some soap, but are so stunned by her beauty and Amazonian stature they retreat murmuring, “Soap, soap, soap.”
Intruding on their discombobulation is actor Wally Cox, whose brief appearance was a takeoff of his Salvo Detergent commercials where his pose with the detergent box on his bicep became an iconic symbol of its strength in the washing machine.
He goes to a machine and drops some soap in, when a hand (a la, Thing from The Addams Family) reaches out, grabs his arm, and wrestles him for the soap.
The guys go home and watch some TV, but instantly start contriving to go back to see April. Each tries his best to woo her by pretending to be a fan of the things she’s interested in. This scheme came about after watching the Dr. Lorreen Sisters Program, a television pop psychologist based on the real Dr. Joyce Brothers.
Dr. Sisters is played by Claire Kelly as a stern, serious advisor telling the boys that to get a girl, men must get to her heart through her mind. She tells them to find out what kind of a man a girl wants and then be that man. Davy says after hearing this, “You know, I never would have thought of that route.”
Using typical Monkees subterfuge, Davy calls April’s mother and introduces himself as David Armstrong Jones of the BBC. He learns that April loves pop art. Mike pretends to be a doctor doing some research on women and uses a Get Smart-model shoe phone to call April herself and learns she likes men who ride motorcycles. Peter appears as a telephone lineman and calls April’s neighbor who tells him April likes chamber music. Micky finds out that April envisions her future husband as a ballet dancer. He does this via a Thing-like phone similar again to the The Addams Family and tries to pull in the phone and Micky.
The guys go back to the laundromat one at a time to show April they are the man for her. Davy comes in first as an artist paints a simplistic image on the wall, seemingly reminiscent of ’60s pop art. April likes it, and we are treated to twinkling stars in the eyes and a chirping birds sound effect. Peter unbelievably comes in on some sort of tricycle with a harpsichord miraculously attached to it with three other musicians following him in playing some chamber music.
April then falls for him until Micky enters and starts dancing ballet. He does a Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon leap across the room and April is once again smitten. Davy asks how he did that. “A man in love has the strength of thousands” is his Confucious-like reply.
Mike enters on what appears to be a Honda 50 and proceeds to wheelie around the laundromat, a complete impossibility with that or a similar bike. April imagines the two of them in biker outfits motoring around and is turned on by the fourth Monkee in a row. The guys all go nuts trying to get her attention until Mike crashes and Micky runs into a wall.
The disconsolate guys go home and admit it’s stupid for all four of them to be after the same woman. But even admitting that, they dream their own fever-pitched dreams of being with her. With Davy, she wears an artist’s smock with no pants. Micky dances with her, she adores Peter’s playing, and hangs on tight to Michael on his little scooter. Over this sequence, the boys sing Mike’s “The Girl I Knew Somewhere,” first released as the B-side to the single Neil Diamond’s “A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You” on March 8, 1967.
The guys recover from their daydreaming, but their reconciliation is short-lived as they argue and end up dividing the room into four sections. One has the refrigerator, one has the TV, one has the front door, and the last has the bathroom.
Peter, who has the tube, turns it on and Dr. Sisters is on once again. She reads a letter from “Tormented,” who is secretly Peter. He has told her what is going on and wonders how he can “cut the others out?” Davy says, “That’s right, what of it?” Sisters: “I’ll tell you what of it.” She then reveals a letter from a certain “Miss Laundromat,” who admits to being close to a breakdown because she is in love with four men.
They make a beeline to the laundromat but find it closed due to illness. Knowing this is crazy, they do a round of rock, paper, scissors, and Peter wins. They leave Peter there and go and break up with April, who, as they enter her bedroom, is laying back in a faux swoon dressed in a gorgeous white nightgown.
They tell her they’re done with her, but Mike makes a mistake mentioning that since he now hates motorcycles he has taken up skydiving. April is instantly enthralled, but he then backs off by saying he’s scared of planes. April, breaking the fourth wall for the umpteenth time, turns to the camera and says, “Where is Peter?”
Peter is no business manager as, back at the laundromat, angry customers are literally attacking him for ruining their clothes. One guy who has been present in the laundromat for the whole episode reading a paper finally stands up and is shirtless — his shirt is in a dryer. He retrieves it, puts it on, and finds it has shrunk.
He then joins in the attack on Peter until the rest of the band comes in and rescues him. April comes in, too, and hugs and kisses Peter and asks, “How can I ever thank you?” Peter answers, in a manly baritone, “That’ll do for a start.”
Digby Wolfe, the shirtless man, is worthy of much mention here. The London-born talent was a writer for the award-winning British satirical series That Was the Week That Was and, after moving to the USA in 1964, he acted part-time and wrote.
He met producer George Schlatter at a cocktail party and they quickly bonded over their love for quick, rapid-fire comedy sketches. Schlatter had had some conversations about a variety show with NBC and the seed was planted for Laugh-In, one of the most groundbreaking shows in history (with our Monkees right up there, too).
He was the one who gave the show the name Laugh-In and received royalties for doing so. He also got credit for recruiting many of the show’s stars, including Arte Johnson and Judy Carne and even brought Tiny Tim on board while also winning an Emmy for his writing.
Back to the show. The Monkees are back home with Peter who is dressed to the Nines and waiting on April to stop by for a candlelit dinner. The others are depressed and wondering why they can’t win at love like Peter, even if it’s the result of playing a game.
April shows up and shocks all four as she introduces a hippie rocker as her fiance. The two boogie off and leave all the Monkees in a deeply depressed state with Peter even sobbing! Suddenly, a knock comes and four beautiful girls enter to ask where the laundromat is. The guys count the number of girls, count themselves, and suddenly all is right with the world once again.
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Guy Smiley