Every ‘Monkees’ Episode: “Monkees on the Line” (S1E28)
Last summer, we celebrated the 50th anniversary of the Monkees as a band by counting down our top 50 Monkees songs. Now, we’re celebrating The Monkees TV show by profiling each and every episode — exactly 50 years after it first premiered.
Tonight’s episode: “Monkees on the Line” (Season 1, Episode 28)
Air date: March 27th, 1967
After meeting gypsies, tramps, and thieves, the Monkees are at it again. Mixed messages and crossed wires come together in this romp filled with good, clean fun!
Mike holds an emergency meeting in which he makes an executive decision: the band should sign up for an answering service so they don’t miss any calls for important music gigs. So off they go to Urgent Answering Service. There, they meet the bubbly Mrs. Drehdal, who convinces them to work for the company to receive a special deal on the service. Needing the money (as they always do), the Monkees agree. And Mike makes another executive decision: he will take the first shift.
He discovers a red button that reveals a hideaway bed (in case he gets tired, of course) and receives a warning to not get “involved” with the clients. Then Mrs. Drehdal gives him his training: pick up the phone, write down the message, and when the client calls, give them the message. “What could be easier?” she asks. In other words, “What could possibly go wrong?” Mrs. Drehdal — played by Helene Winston who was Big Flora in the “Monkees A La Carte” episode — announces that she’s suddenly off to Jamaica, and we have all the ingredients for a classic Monkees farce!
Excited and nervous to start, Mike totally panics when the phones start ringing — especially since his first call is from Ellen Farnsby (Susan Browning, from The World According To Garp and One Life To Live), a desperate woman claiming she needs to talk to someone because she is so terribly alone and does not wish to go on. Other phones ring, but he hangs up on those callers so he can try to talk her out of doing something drastic. The phone-ringing frenzy follows until his bandmates rush in to calm him down (with a bottle of seltzer water, of course). They search the filing cabinet until Mike finds Ellen’s address so he can visit her to convince her that her life is worth living. He is joined by Micky, despite Peter and Davy reminding them to not get involved with the clients.
All ten phones ring at once, and frazzled, frenzied Peter and Davy attempt to answer them. Davy takes it upon himself to hand-deliver a message to a Mr. Smith (Richard O’Brien from The Andromeda Strain and Looking For Mr. Goodbar) because it might be urgent. He arrives at Mr. Smith’s apartment and relays the message: “Call Zelda, Baby. Love. Love. Love. Urgent.” (Davy must be good at his job already — he never checked the filing cabinet for the address!)
One problem — a suspicious and jealous Mrs. Smith (Lea Marmer from movies Easy Rider and All About Alice)! Despite trying to tell her he doesn’t know any “Zelda,” Mr. Smith is clocked in the head by his wife who chases both him and Davy down the hall into another apartment. We hear a woman scream and run out of that apartment followed by a very happy Davy (because she’s clad in only a towel and shower cap!), Mrs. Smith, and… a cop? The chase is on!
Meanwhile, Micky and Mike search frantically for Ellen at her apartment until they find a note saying that she’s at the theatre that day — where we, as the omniscient audience, see her on stage repeating the same lines she had said to Mike. We soon learn that she’s an actress using the answering service to rehearse her lines for a play. Could she get into trouble for this?
Anyway, back at the answering service, Peter receives a call from a booking agent (Milton Frome) with a message to book vocal group The Popsicles for an upcoming gig. What Peter does not know is that this agent is using the answering service to place gambling bets! Now, they could definitely get into trouble!
Cut back to the Smith’s apartment building. A parade of characters run down the hall and into the Smith apartment: a runner, the cop, a football player, Mr. Smith, Davy, the screaming woman, and a gorilla — because why not, honestly. Nothing’s too out of the ordinary in a Monkees episode.
While Mike tries to comfort an over-acting Ellen back at her apartment (he, unlike us, hasn’t learned about her play yet), Micky and Davy search for Peter, who is suddenly missing. That’s when they find the red button, push it, and discover the bed with Peter sprawled out on it.
Remember that booking agent from earlier? Well, he and his partner arrive at the answering agency and hold the boys at gunpoint because the Pelicans got “booked” instead of the Popsicles (seems a little extreme, no?). Peter confesses he changed the message because he felt the Pelicans needed the gig and didn’t realize a bet was riding on the original message.
Back to Mike and his actress girl. After Ellen promises not to do anything desperate, Mike returns to Urgent Answering Service, followed by Mrs. Smith and the cop (who is actually Mr. Smith). Everyone chases each other around an oversized olive-green rotary phone. Ah, remember rotary phones? Remember that delicious color that seemed to be everywhere in 1960s decor?
I digress. Mrs. Smith, one by one, bops everyone in the head with her purse while the bed goes in and out of the wall with various characters on it. We hear Davy sing the lead on “Look Out (Here Comes Tomorrow),” a classic Neil Diamond tune — complete with his signature handclaps. In true Monkees fashion, everything is wrapped up by the song’s conclusion: Mr. Smith arrests the gamblers and makes up with his wife.
Ellen arrives at the office dripping in diamonds and furs, accompanied by her handsome escort. After she thanks Mike for helping her rehearse her part for the play, Ellen exits in grand fashion. Poor Peter expresses his sincere thanks that they did not get involved with any of the clients, and Davy, Micky, and Mike walk away from him.
Oh, Peter. If only you knew.
